A Few Things

I love it when, on a TV show or in a movie, the characters act in a way that is very different from their established character - as long as it is hilarious. When stiff, uncompromising characters all of the sudden act all loopy I really love it.

The other night, while drinking out of a bottle of Smart Water, I opened the linen closet door. My depth perception is obviously a little off, as I smacked the door into the bottom of the bottle, thus ramming the mouthpiece of the bottle into my pursed lips. I now have two fat lips with little cuts where the bottle smooshed my lip up against my teeth. It is unfortunate.

There is fall in the breeze, and when I catch a whiff of it it reminds me of unending possibilities and newness. It makes me feel happy.

Update on the Thrilling Events of my Life

So, I left my job at Bankruptcy, Inc. a little earlier because I had to go out of town, but then it turns out the reason I was going to go out of town went to a different, undetermined town, so I didn't have to go. Being a bounty hunter is a mercurial job. Just kidding. I'm not really a bounty hunter. Yet.

Anywhoo. Instead of returning to the last week of a job with my tail between my legs all, "Can I come back to work to do stuff for you guys for a couple more days instead of taking some time for myself until my new job starts" I sort of just decided to chill out for a few days. I have some freelance writing to do, and I thought I could get my home office unpacked, get some stuff done around the house, et cetera. Cook some good meals. You know, be a Domestic Goddess who Writes Good.

What I was a little suprised to find out is that I'm totally mind-numbingly depressed. I guess it's got something to do with watching a company die a slow death, and it being the end of an era, and all that stuff, but you'd think with two great part time jobs on the horizon, and the kick-ass classes coming up for grad school, that I'd be all full of positivity and enthusiasm. I guess it takes a little while, because so far I haven't gotten diddly squat done and I keep nodding off like a herion addict or my grandma or something.

So I figure I need to keep myself busy. The only thing? Every time I stand up I get a head rush, and I convince myself that it's far safer, since I'm home all alone, to sit back down on the bed and check Twitter to see if John Cusack has direct messaged me, because that would totally make my day. Not that he ever has, or knows I exist, but that would be pretty cool, so I should probably check. As long as I'm online, I might as well learn something on the TV, so it's lucky that there is a marathon of The Scariest Places on Earth on the Sci Fi Channel, so I can learn all about scary places and the paranormal. Because that's important. Then I start writing a blog in my head because Linda Blair (of Excorcist fame) is the host of the show, and in the opening credits she stalks into view through misty spookiness and she's wearing a tight leather outfit and a cape-like overcoat, which is fantastic. But I don't actually write the blog, because I'm thinking about how I should check my bank account, but I shouldn't do that directly from Twitter, because the internet monkey thieves could trace my steps over to my bank account and wreak havoc (new havoc, not the havoc I inflict monthly). So I might as well check my blogroll, and see what the people that are better bloggers than me have to say.

I think you see my point. Not too productive. Of course, I only left the job yesterday, and today was Day 1 of a surprise vacation, so I guess it's OK that I wasn't productive AT ALL. Since I was crazy busy at work on Friday AND Monday, I guess it's OK to take a breather.

Or I am a lazy hog-jerk. Whichever. I did eat a half can of cashews, a whole can of potato soup, a McDonald's #2 with no onions and a Sprite, and now I'm fixing to eat some more. So at least I'm well-nourished.

So, now it's Writing for Money late into the night, because you guys make me want to be my best.

...

I have been enjoying some freelance writing about our fair city, which I will link to upon permission from the owner of the website. I have been pregaming for grad school. I have been gearing up for even more freelance work as a contractor, and have accepted a sweet part time job in addition, so we might not starve after all.

The house renovation is 80% complete - just need some shoe molding and to paint the bathroom and hang the bathroom light. I will post pictures soon, because I know the whole damn internet cares a lot about the work I've put into my house.

Wait. That sounded bitter and I'm not. New opportunities. Grad school. New friends. Old friends. Life is really good.

Whether the internet cares or not.

It's Been A While

It's also been a busy time. We've been working full throttle and I've been working at Bankruptcy Inc. and freelance writing (yay!) all at the same time. We have no clean forks or underpants, but life is good.

I've just found out that because of all this nifty reading and computer work, that I need bifocals. BIFOCALS. Dudes, I'm getting older...everyone is. But BIFOCALS?!? At 32? Really?

I mainly wear contacts, so I just had to get some drugstore reading glasses and using them is giving me headaches that would cripple Hercules. And he's a pretty tough guy.

I have a great story about Emma to tell you all, but it's going to take a minute for me to get the picture uploaded. So this is it for now, and stay tuned for a much more amusing post in the near future.

Stream of consciousness

Random thoughts:

getting a little piece of garlic stuck in your tooth and working it out with your tongue is much like taking some sort of garlic breath infuser treatment. You've got to work really hard to undo that.

That Fitzgerald quote, "In the real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day" takes on a whole new meaning when you're awake at three o'clock in the morning.

I did not win the lottery again today. Honestly, a poor girl's heart can only stand but so much.


Since my time at Bankrupt Inc. is coming to a close, I have put myself out on the proverbial market. Rather than worrying about the normal things one worries about when trying to secure gainful employment (ie. resume, skills, etc.), I am concerned about the following, because it's every so much more productive to worry about trivial stuff that doesn't matter.

I am not, repeat, am NOT, high maintenance enough to get regular pedicures. However, you might notice that my toenails are perfect. It's a bonding activity with me and my mom, and we go every two weeks if we can afford it. There are currently flowers on my toes because the girl at the shop asked me so very nicely if I wanted flowers, and I couldn't say no. Because I am a pedicure pushover. And, I'm wearing open-toed shoes because it's summer, and I hope that is appropriate. Because my only closed-toed shoes right now are sneakers and Doc Martens. And for some reason I thought red Chucks would make it look like I wasn't trying hard enough.

I blush a lot. Sometimes when I blush I stay blushed for, like, 10 whole minutes. I look like a tomato, and I'm sorry. Sometimes I blush because I've been blushing for so long. I get embarrassed by the blushing.

I have very little fashion sense, but if I'm going to someone's office to meet them, or meeting somebody out for lunch? Trust me, I've tried. As much as I can try without waving a bunch of red flags around this place. If I need to look nicer than this I can, because my mom lives nearby and is always willing to pick out an outfit for me.
**it occurs to me that if any potential employers read this they will now be thinking, "The dumb girl has to have her mother dress her." Not true. Many people take fashion advice from TV, magazines, friends, etc. I take fashion advice from my mom. She's my hero.
**Also, it isn't really like the guys I work for would have a problem with me going for an interview or something, but it's not good for morale with my coworkers. I'm sensitive to that. Both because I care about people and because around here you're liable to get your head bitten off. In a nice way, of course (not really, no, not nice).

I don't have poison ivy. I look like this all the time. It's not contagious, it's psoriasis, and I hope it doesn't creep anybody out too badly to hire me. Sometimes it's better than others, and I never scratch in public. Hey, if LeAnn Rimes can admit it, so can I.

I may be a little awkward at first, but I am super conscientious and hardworking, and I eventually grow on people. I mean, besides that one girl at my current job that hates my guts, most people find me very pleasant to be around. My mom thinks I'm the bomb.

I can't lie to you, Interwebs. This economy is still pretty sucky, and it's going to be a while before things turn around. Finding a job in this state is tough, and I AM actually worried about my skills, my creds, my chances. There is one thing in particular that I pretty much consider a dream job, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up so's they don't get squashed like little buggies. So I worry if I'm good enough.

But I also worry about what kind of impression my toes make. I'm a complicated woman, Internet. You knew that when you got into this relationship. Wish me luck.

Amazing that it's been a whole week

A whole week since my last post. Huh. I had a great idea and lost it midday today amongst the searing, mind-numbing pain of a terrible migraine (fun!) and am pretty much writing something just to write something. Which is useless, yet I do it anyway.

In more exciting news, I think I've come up with an idea for a cool niche blog that can be a central hub of online activity and possibly make me independently wealthy. Or will at least pay my electric bill and support my kitchy t-shirt habit. So yeah, I'll get around to that someday.

As for fun stuff that happened over the last week, I guess I tweeted about it, so you can check out my tweets at the right, if you're not an active tweeter yourself. As for me, the jury is still out. It is a LOT of fun right now, and I could see it either becoming a way of life or something that I abandon because it's too high-maintenance.

I have several freelance pieces to write, plus a lot of really old carpet to pull up, boxes to pack, trim to paint, etc. Busy, but that's good because of idle hands being the devil's something or another.

Random Nonsense

I just spent the past 5 minutes instant messaging my hubsband...while sitting 5 feet apart.
The ground beef had turned. No taco pizza tonight.
I love the movie "To Die For". I'm watching it right now.

Bah

I got so busy talking about the wine festival that I didn't metion any surreal parts. Here is a recap of the day that doesn't include what was previously blogged or tweeted about:

* It was so hot that heat waves were squiggling off the surface of not only the rocks and gravel in Innsbrook, but also off of the sweaty people. I kept rubbing my eyes to fix it, but it was an optical illusion from the heat. Either that or a hallucination. I'll stick with the former.

* The crowd was relatively young, so they got drunk FAST. There were a couple of times when I encountered someone who was obviously tipsy (even plastered) but holding it together so well that I wanted to say "Good job. I can tell that you're wasted, but that's only because I am stone-cold sober. To the rest of the drunk people out here you are holding it together remarkably well. Kudos to you, Drunkface."

* I am a suck-up to cops. I can't decide if this is because I really respect what they're meant to do (because I do, the idea of cops is good), because I like having armed people on my side (also true), or because I think that they might let me off easy if I get in trouble someday (me? get in trouble? never!). Luckily for me it was not hard to be extra-nice to the cops at the Wine Festival, because they were extra-nice and friendly. Innsbrook cops are awesome, as long as you're not gettinig into trouble in Innsbrook.

* I am an old lady. Seriously. I know I mentioned my back and my sinuses yesterday, and today I have a nifty new rash on my cheeks. Regardez:

Heat rash? Nickel poisoning? Heaven only knows. Hopefully my cheeks won't rot off before I'm able to post again...

Action-Packed

The past couple of days have been busy. I worked 6:30 AM till whenever at work then came home, worked on homework for a little while, got ready, and went out to dinner with friends. That was very nice and I was very sleepy by the time we got home. K & K stopped by for a quick visit, and I promptly fell asleep with my head on D's shoulder. Got up yesterday and worked on a nasty financial exercise for my parents, our friends from VA Beach came over and visited and while they went to dinner at Comfort D and I went to an old friend of mine's wedding. My ex boss was the DJ, but the exchange was not as unpleasant as my employment's end would have dictated. I guess sometimes time does heal all wounds, except in the case of the bride, with whom I have a complicated past. I thought by going to the wedding it would show a "we've both got our shit together and are no longer dysfunctional drunks. You are married with a child, I am married with a cat, we are equals as far as formerly-dysfunctional drunks go, and I wish you the very best" kind of solidarity. Instead the exchange was indeed more awkward that the conversation with my ex-boss whom I quitted with profanity after some very explosive arguing (I maintain it was mostly his fault). This conversation was lovely and nurturing compared to the awkward exchange with Das Bride. She looked lovely, and I'm glad she is happy. I'll leave it at that, rather than speculate on the "unfinished business" she said she had with me.

We came home to find that our VA Beach friends had locked the knob on the den door on their way out. Bummer. They have one key to the front door knobs and deadbolt. My parents have the other. Therefore neither D or I have a front door key. The front door is the only door in the house that has one key that operates both the knob and the deadbolt. The other two doors (both in the den) are flip-flopped. That is, the key that fits the knob on the front den door also works the deadbolt on the back den door, while the key that works the knob on the back den door works the deadbolt on the front den door. The latter key is the key that both D and I use to get into the den, and therefore we never lock the den front door knob, as we don't have a key for it (K & K have that one). Complicated. Frustrating. And so there we were after sweating and getting eaten by bugs at Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens, dressed in a dress and tie (me and him, respectively) and we were locked out of our house.

Luckily it didn't take long for our guests to get here, and I fell asleep promptly after eating many Totino's Pizza Rolls and watching reruns of the Dog Whisperer.

Today I'm going to tutor my dad in the basics of Microsoft Office, then we're having barbeque with Mom, Dad, Aunt, and Uncle as a Labor Day celebration. All this and I have the following to complete before Tuesday:

1. Read all of The Pilgrim's Progress and read the online discussion topics posted by fellow students in order to form thoughts for discussion on Wednesday (ENG 415)
2. Read "The Thought Fox" by Ted Hughes and "Daddy" by Sylvia Plath, pick one and write a well-formed opinion on for class on Tuesday (ENG 301)
3. Start memorizing "The Windhover" for my oral recitation of it on Sept. 16 (ENG 301)
4. Create a resume for the class's critique (ENG 303)

I truly meant to take picture of the dapperness that was me and D yesterday, but it was hot and I was troubled by the awkwardness, so just imagine a green shirt and tie and a brown polka-dotted number and you'll get the picture.

Off to prepare for tutuoring and read an article on blogging that JB sent me.

A few random and sleepy thoughts

Josh Whats-His-Name, the guy from Lost? He really doesn't look all that great with his shirt off. I think that Cool Water cologne/perfume ad is kind of stupid. There's old slopy-shouldered Sawyer being all stubbly and gritty jawed, and there's Kate Beckinsale with her messed-up hair and she's kind of holding her mouth open like a cat does when it sniffs something really hard or catches the scent of something in the wind. Sexy. I mean, I get it. He comes up out of the water all musky and Cool Watery and she catches his scent in the breeze. Like a big ol British cat. It might work better for me if she hadn't played a vampire in a movie. I was kind of thinking she might bite him on his big ol' slopy shoulder.

Amazon Ad-Thingy isn't as intuitive as I'd hoped. There's, like, a half a web page on the side of my other blog's webpage. I'm not linking to it yet. It only has one post and no content yet.

In retrospect, McDonald' s wasn't the best idea for dinner.

We just watched "Smart People" with Dennis Quaid, Sarah Jessica Parker (SJP), Thomas Haden Church and Ellen Page. It was the first thing since Wings I've seen Thomas Haden Church in and liked him. Sideways made me want to punch him in the face. In fact, the whole movie made me want to punch the whole movie industry in the face. Really? This is what all the fuss was about? And I even already LOVED Paul Giamatti. Sorry, folks. That movie was a crap cracker as far as I was concerned.

Waking up before 6AM sucks - it's 9:30 and I feel like it's way past my bedtime.

If I can't find parking on the street for school tomorrow I will consider it a bad omen.

I am in the process of casting many Neil Gaimen movies in my head. Ask me how! Soon if he asks for my opinion I'll be able to offer it without hesitation.

Why doesn't Blogger have a damn spell check? Do they think we all type it into word or notepad first? Not all of us can write html, people. Give us a break.

You know what I like? I like when you have a pleasant or witty exchange with someone and it DOESN'T turn awkward. Pay attention next time. You'll notice just how often that happens.

If I worry about money much longer I think all my hair will fall out. Speaking of hair, I'm cutting mine even shorter. I hate this style that it's in. I've been wearing a lacy kerchief thing on my head and I think people at work think I might have changed religions or something. Or joined the damn VonTrapp family.

Now I'm going to have that "High on a hill sat a lonely goatherd" song stuck in my head. See if you don't too.

I'm glad they don't have emoticons readily available. I'm liable to abuse them. Except for with instant messaging I don't think it gets much better than sending the totally wrong animated emoticon smily face guy for the occasion.

Either Grandpa's down the well, or the cat forgot she already ate dinner.

Am I crazy, or is it really exciting when a store has an "As Seen On TV" department?

Downing Johnson Out