It's Been A While

It's also been a busy time. We've been working full throttle and I've been working at Bankruptcy Inc. and freelance writing (yay!) all at the same time. We have no clean forks or underpants, but life is good.

I've just found out that because of all this nifty reading and computer work, that I need bifocals. BIFOCALS. Dudes, I'm getting older...everyone is. But BIFOCALS?!? At 32? Really?

I mainly wear contacts, so I just had to get some drugstore reading glasses and using them is giving me headaches that would cripple Hercules. And he's a pretty tough guy.

I have a great story about Emma to tell you all, but it's going to take a minute for me to get the picture uploaded. So this is it for now, and stay tuned for a much more amusing post in the near future.

Bah

I got so busy talking about the wine festival that I didn't metion any surreal parts. Here is a recap of the day that doesn't include what was previously blogged or tweeted about:

* It was so hot that heat waves were squiggling off the surface of not only the rocks and gravel in Innsbrook, but also off of the sweaty people. I kept rubbing my eyes to fix it, but it was an optical illusion from the heat. Either that or a hallucination. I'll stick with the former.

* The crowd was relatively young, so they got drunk FAST. There were a couple of times when I encountered someone who was obviously tipsy (even plastered) but holding it together so well that I wanted to say "Good job. I can tell that you're wasted, but that's only because I am stone-cold sober. To the rest of the drunk people out here you are holding it together remarkably well. Kudos to you, Drunkface."

* I am a suck-up to cops. I can't decide if this is because I really respect what they're meant to do (because I do, the idea of cops is good), because I like having armed people on my side (also true), or because I think that they might let me off easy if I get in trouble someday (me? get in trouble? never!). Luckily for me it was not hard to be extra-nice to the cops at the Wine Festival, because they were extra-nice and friendly. Innsbrook cops are awesome, as long as you're not gettinig into trouble in Innsbrook.

* I am an old lady. Seriously. I know I mentioned my back and my sinuses yesterday, and today I have a nifty new rash on my cheeks. Regardez:

Heat rash? Nickel poisoning? Heaven only knows. Hopefully my cheeks won't rot off before I'm able to post again...

100th Post - And Another Migraine

I don't know what it is about this particular Christmas. Maybe it's the economy or my depresing work situation or just a little 31-year-old midlife crisis but I'm pretty blue. One thing that is helping out (or hurting, depending on how you look at it) is the barrage of Christmas programming on the Lifetime Channel and the Lifetime Movie Network. Heaven help me, I'm enjoying the crap out of these movies. I mean, how many different versions of a Christmas Carol can one company make?

I will say that I've been known to scorn Lifetime programming in the past. In fact, my buddy Shell posted an article I wrote on his website: http://www.toptenz.net/top-10-worst-lifetime-original-movies.php. Either I've changed or they really ramp up the programming for Christmastime, or I'm immune to the crapulence that exudes from the television set. At least I've only allowed myself to watch in the bedroom - where we don't have a DVR and I don't muck up the queue with a bunch of these movies that would surely make Dwight roll his eyes so hard they might hop out of thier sockets.

So, stay tuned for the Top Ten Best Lifetime Christmas Movies. I think I'll write it as soon as someone removes the knife that is lodged firmly above my left eye. Until then I will remain wracked by dirty-house guilt and wallow under the uncomfortably warm comforter and watch the cat lick herself in the flickering glow of a Lifetime Christmas movie starring Neil Patrick Harris and Naomi Watts. DOn't worry. I don't hate myself at all right now. Not at all.

Holy Moley

Sometime between the hours of 11PM and 1AM the devil came to my stomach. He is still there.

As a side note

I think I figured out what caused this illness. At first (because of my internet reading) I thought it was because I liked to drink wine, or because my triglycerides are kind of high. Not so. Turns out my wine consumption was not enough to spark this, nor was my triglyceride level. They said "sometimes we never know why someone gets pancreatitis" but I didn't like that. I like for questions to have answers. I did a little more reading, and three sources confirmed that acute pancreatitis can come about because of trauma to the abdomen. Like a car accident. Now, I haven't been in a car accident lately (knock on wood), but the other day at work I was pushing this cart around and I accidentally ran it into a wall, thus shoving the push bar of the cart directly into the left side of my abdomen. Hard. It hurt so bad, in fact, that my knees momentarily gave out and I had to grab onto the cart to keep my balance. I bet that's what it was. Stupid cart.

Still Sicky

As it turns out, pancreatitis is not as easy to get over as I anticipated. The internet said 2-3 days, the ER doctor said 2-3 WEEKS, and my PCP said 1 week. So I don't know what to think. Literally, since they've got me on so many meds that I can't see straight. I will hopefully see a specialist soon, who will hopefully take me off the crazy barrage of medicines.

In the meantime I am missing work, which I HATE to do, mainly because it puts me behind and secondarily because I'm scared it makes me look bad and will/may get me in trouble. Because I'm paranoid like that.

I am behind on schoolwork already, even though I had yesterday and today to do it (and technically the parts of Thursday and Friday that I didn't work from home) but have been wonked out by medicine so unable. That means I have a 1/2 book to read, a 3-5 pager, a written transcription of the poem that the 3-5 pager is on, a 1 pager, a simulated resume for Business Writing, and a 2 pager all due by Tuesday. I hope I'm feeling better tomorrow night, since I only managed to get the first 1/2 of the book, the online response for said first 1/2 of book and the preliminary thinking for the 3-5 pager done so far tonight, and it's almost time for the green pill, which takes me to lala land. I might be getting a doctor's note to get extensions on some of these things.

All in all, sickness plus the stress is not haappy time for me. Sorry for the crappy blog.

Aha

I went to see Lawrence yesterday (the PAC at my PCP...heh) and he did some poking around on my stomach, took some blood, send me home various implements with which to collect various bodily fluids (I know, TMI) and gave me a strong antacid.

The pain has been so weird. It's like hunger pains that go all the way through to my back. Hunger pains that roll over with a strong amount of pressure. It triggers the ol' gag reflex, and is generally terribly uncomfortable, which is why I went to the doctor. I'm used to heartburn discomfort, but this is something completely different. So anyway, I came home with the hope that the Protonix would do the trick.

It didn't. Usually the weirdo pain would ease a little if I ate. Not anymore. So I just kept on eating. The phone rang, and it was Lawrence. He told me my white count was elevated, and he'd like me to come in for an ultrasound. Nowish. He said to wait for someone to call me and then I would come on in. During our conversation, he speculated that it could be a pancreas problem. Nala called and said that they'd do the ultrasound tomorrow, but if the pain increased at all or if I started throwing up or having any additional abdomen pain I should go to the ER.

I went to the ER. The pain was constant, about 7 on a scale of 1 to 10 rather than the 5 it was before, and I had wicked cramping in my abdomen. After an ultrasound, a bunch of X-rays, and a LOT of bloodwork they determined that I have acute pancreatitis. See below:

It's not very exciting, is it? The whole ER visit took about 3 1/2 hours and they gave me something via IV before I left that made me LOOOPED. I slept great, but feel today pretty much today like I did yesterday. I guess it's going to take a while to get to feeling better.

It is a relief to at least know what is wrong. Here come some lifestyle changes.

Blech

Migraine today. For your amusement I drew a picture of a migraine. Just picture it embedded and throbbing above your left eyebrow and you'll see what I mean.

UGH

I'm either totally exhausted or I'm getting sick. That, added to some "too personal for a the world wide web" health stuff that's going on, is making me wish I didn't have to go to class tonight. Unfortunately the way this Statistics schedule works is that if I don't go to class I get a zero in SOMETHING, so barring bleeding eyeballs or projectile vomiting, I'm going.

I left work early hoping I could get some rest and not feel too bad among the masses downtown, but as time goes on I feel worse and worse. I do promise that my illness has nothing to do with how badly I want to watch the premiere of Lost. We have a DVR for that. Nice try, though.

We're having a "Discovery Process" workshop in English class tonight. Tell you all about it later.