It's been fun all this time. Don't you think we've had some fun? I mean, I know I met you a little later than a lot of people did, but I think I've more than made up for it with my many hours of Bejeweled and my manic social networking.
So what's all this about you letting people install this "malware" stuff on my computer, making me succeptible to the April 1 computer armageddon. What's up with that, Internet? And now I hear that this is a prime time for identity theft, too? So much that there are guys on street corners with those little skinny billboard trucks (I hate those, Internet!) yelling about identity theft. That it's coming for me. Is it, Internet? Would you let them get me?
You know, Internet, it wasn't so long ago that I did just fine without you. Granted, it would be really hard to communicate, bank, order things, and be entertained without you, but I think you might also be forgetting about a little phenomenon called "books", and something called "the telephone".
That was a little harsh. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm just really scared about all this, you know? Could you, maybe, just chill out a little? Ease up on digital armageddon and we'll sneak in a little Bejeweled later - deal?