I was tired of looking like a disheveled homeless person, so I went to Kenny (Kenny Fantastic, I call him) at Supercuts and had him mow the back of my head a little. I no longer have a semi-mullet, so while I am no longer ironic and kitschy, I could pass for a professional person...if I stay away from the baggy jeans and sneakers.
I also got my eyebrows waxed. I'm ready, as they say, for anything. I suppose.